A Creative Life In a Political Town

My clients and friends tell me I’m more of a coach than a consultant and that I am at my best when I’m able to relate my experiences to theirs.  This has been a random journal in the past, but I’m transforming it to a space where I can share the stories behind my work.  This is the third of 30 year-end posts I will devote to “Things You Can’t See On A CV”.

“Is that what your little note says? It must be hard living your life off a couple of scraps of paper. You mix your laundry list with your grocery list you’ll end up eating your underwear for breakfast.” – Natalie, Memento

For some, life as a creative can involve a certain amount of mess and list making.  I myself am a list maker, I do it not only so I can measure my productivity but also because I am cursed with an overabundance of ideas on a daily basis.  Thats not to compliment myself, because it literally keeps me up at night.  Visions, just random thoughts, things I saw that I make into other things, ideas for people that aren’t even paying me, it never ends.

So, one of my contacts in my phone is myself.  I can send myself a text with any extra thoughts or a grocery list and have it right in my pocket as a reference, I use twitter the same way as well.  These are my sticky notes, my Leonard memos that keep me “organized”, or just nuts, who can tell the difference.  Hopefully one day I wont end up like Howard Hughes.

I took the metro yesterday for the first time in ages and it felt nice to commute into the city.  As a freelancer, I work from my home studio, which I’ve loved, but there are days when I never leave the house.  That sounds worse than it is.

As a ad/branding creative, its not only nice to see people bustling about the city (Chinatown in DC around 9pm and 45 degrees is magical), but you get to see the various ads and messages they are receiving and observe the mundane moments that connect people, places and objects.  Ok, maybe I am a shut-in.

DC is gearing up for the holidays, and with it comes plenty of decoration and a myriad of events, galas and parties.  I have kept a mental list of some of the projects I have in mind for DC, a few of which I am working on now, but some of which I share just because.  There should be pieces of yarn linking my tweets to my autobiographical texts and now to my blog.

HOLIDAY ARTISTIC THINGS I’D LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN IN DC

1. Why does the National Christmas Tree have to look exactly the same every year? Why aren’t local artists tapped to decorate it differently?  While I appreciate tradition, shouldn’t this say more about us as a country?  Its looked like a tree trapped in a fishing net of lights for decades.  And ps, that aluminum hangar disaster that sits in Georgetown,the one anchored by sandbags, is embarrassing.

2. The lighting display hanging at Convention Center’s breezeway is one other missed opportunity.  With all of the Holiday events hosted there, we need something more dramatic and elegant than white lights strewn back and forth. Cummon people.

3. Public Transportation/WMATA: While our metro is by no means the wonder of the world that is the NY City Subway, there’s plenty of culture we could capture to showcase the peculiarities of our buses and trains.  A photo campaign stuck to the floor, decorative smart cards, catchy phrases for the different lines…so much could be done.  During the holidays we should pick a few major stops to host a lighting installation, those ceilings are beckoning.  And oh yeah, the space man in the L’Enfant stop has gotta go.

4. The Washingtonian, DC Modern, Capitol File or Washington Life should publish a DC Fashion, Music & Art issue every year.  Preceding gala and auction season.  One big fat huge book.  We may be scrappy, but our artists, musicians and designers are only getting better.

5. Sidebar: I think there should be a parade here on the Fourth of July.  This should be the only city you want to be in that day.

6. I live on a stretch of Columbia Pike that is tree lined, I think everyone in the neighborhood should donate a strand of white lights and we should light it up.  Im just not sure where the plugs go.

7. For the holiday, The Proper Topper should ask local artists to design signature hat boxes that feature Washington scenes.  Woodies did this years ago and I covet the black hat box I found at an antique shop years ago.  People would buy the hats if only for the collectible boxes.  I also think DC could single handedly make awesome hat wearing standard again.

8. Last sidebar: There should be a coffee table book about The Tiny Jewel Box released over the Holidays about gift giving tales.  That place has too many stories, some of which they cant tell.

9. Store windows in Georgetown and 14th St should light up like Old Town does.  Make it international, interreligious, I dont care, but those strips could be our Macy’s windows.

10. Speaking of, on the night the National Tree is lit, museums along the Mall should invite artists to create a display that is appropriate to each museum.  Reindeer at the Natural History, a special exhibit on religious art at the National Gallery, you get the drift.  And special evening hours, maybe even libations, are a must.

Now that I read through this, its pretty heavy on the lighting ideas, but its not meant to.  I just think that we can do more to engage the artists in our community to decorate the city year round.  Christmas makes me so creative, as exemplified by my Holiday Shop on Zazzle.  I also have a few clients that are stirring with ideas and the new Mayor is welcome to call anytime.

“If you knew what you would go through, you would never move forward”
- Poet in LA who’s name I forgot

A little over a year and a half ago, with business development cash was drying up, the owner of my company told me I had two choices: 1. Go back on direct client support to the Navy or   2. Take a severance check and walk.

I had a few creative projects, and a side web development project but that was it, but I walked.  Looking back on that decision (one of many I’ve taken) I’m startled by the risk I took.  Sure, I knew I was taking “a risk” but I literally had no idea the amount of overhead that was needed in this city, especially Arlington County, to just survive, let alone thrive.

A  quick example: In Arlington County, if you can’t pay your property taxes on your car, you can’t get your tags updated, and if you cant get your tags updated they suspend your licence.  If your tags are expired you can’t even park the car in private lots so you are left to leave it on the road, where it will inevitably be towed. Oh yeah, and they they doubled the fines for reinstating licences in Virginia.  Thanks.

Why do I mention this? Because there are no “small” problems when you are a small business.  If a client drags their feet paying you, if a roommate ditches on paying you utilities money, or say, a friendly neighbor decides to have your car (the one you bought on your previously cushy salary), the 200 bucks you were going to spend fixing your laptop and buying your way out of your Sprint contract to get an iPhone gets blown and you are left laptop-less and texting on an lame outdated Rumor during Digital Capital Week.  This doesn’t win you new business.

Mind you, I didn’t “walk” without assessing the risks involved.  How do you assess risks you don’t know about, even if you read and ask, there are things you’ll never know.  Its dark matter, and even if you try to shine a light on it, there are other things you are ignorant to. My best friend read books on childbirth for nine months straight when she was pregnant and still reached a pain level she never thought could exist when she actually delivered.  Perfect knowledge isn’t something one can wait around for, so when I walked, I walked right off a cliff.

But I learned to climb, I got a few new tools on my way up, I learned to ask for help, I learned when to stay still and the importance of training.  I wasn’t destined for a life in contracting for defense so despite the pain of the transition, it was both necessary and timely.  I moved back to this city because I knew LA was dead and that my hometown would undergo a renaissance and the longer I put off diving into it, the harder it would be.  But my ability to relate to my clients through these experiences is why they trust me, and like something out of  The Dancing Wu Li Masters, we’ve learned together which has made me a partner of theirs not just their project manager.

However, dealing with such “small” issues has made me rethink the words “Small Business”.  With a small business, nothing is small.  Problems like the ones above become small only when you are a big business.  While “small” businesses are lean, have “low” overhead and a hungry workforce, they also face greater challenges surviving.   When you walk, don’t ask yourself “Do you want to work on your own?”, ask yourself, “Do I want my bosses job?”  People might brag about setting their own hours, being their own manager and the freedom to take only work they want, but for myself and many of my clients, it’s like being a canoe in the middle of an ocean squall. Some days, all you can do is paddle and pray to God you don’t hit anything.

Small businesses aren’t small, they are compact.  You can’t be a “startup” forever, so you become a compact business, an entity that much like the Ford Fiesta can zip along swiftly but can also be flattened easily.  This doesn’t mean you can’t test, measure and plan just like the “big” guys do, it just means that the desire and ability to take more responsibility for what goes right is more closely wedded to taking responsibility every time something goes wrong.  But inevitably, you adjust, you learn to work smarter not harder, to be quick but not rush and the pressure of managing scant resources gives you an envious amount of budgetary prudence, without making you cheap.

Over the past two years I have gained a greater appreciation for former bosses, owners and a few of my clients as they all had, at one time, stepped off the same cliff.  I’ve zeroed out a few times, rebuilt and rebooted which has made me more compact and agile.  I’ve helped my clients rediscover why they love their businesses or products and in doing so, have helped them craft a message or launch a brand that customers will believe in too.  I learned that having a good idea or product, being talented or even being a good manager, doesn’t equate to running a successful business.  But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

Not a day that goes by that I don’t hear about the joys and excitement of being an “entrepreneur”.  You’ve read them, either considered it or have done it, so maybe some of this will be relatable.  Make your own hours, work at home on all these amazing projects, choose your clients, take vacation whenever you want, and the dreaded: “be your own boss”.  Four words have never been more misleading in the history of human kind.

I never lept off the corporate cliff  to start a business, but rather, to reroute my career.  I’ve spent the last year working harder than I ever have before.  I’ve given up more for my work, and for my-self, than I anticipated and gotten more than I ever hoped for out of it.  I’m still learning what I’ve learned about my work, so for a talker like me, its actually managed to make me less long winded.  Which is probably why in the past year I’ve favored the blue bird over the big blog.

There are young graduates, 20-somethings, former cubicle-mates and general job-haters that have told me they envy me, my “freedom” and the fun involved in freelancing.  Which is funny, because “free”lancing has meant less freedom and it certainly hasn’t always been fun.

So just so we can catch up (since like all bloggers I imagine I have a larger audience than I actually do), here are a few things that I’ve felt and learned over the past year.

- I knew this world was big, but I also didn’t realize how small it can be, especially in this town.

- I keep planning and strategizing, but the more I plan, the more I learn to improvise.

- Things have a way of working out, even when they dont.

- People will help you if you ask for it.  But don’t expect it.

- Like tough teachers, tough bosses and clients are to be valued.  I learned more from them than the easy ones.

- I wish I could bottle what I felt when a client told me I saved her business and changed her life.

- Newton was right, ah ha moments really do come while staring at trees.

- Most of the time, things are right under my nose.

- My ability to grow roots has been valuable, but my inability to build walls is something I need to work on.

- Learning how to drop a client is more valuable than winning new ones.

- Pride is not the same as confidence. But they can look a lot alike.

- I think less about what I would be doing and more about what I have to do.

- Sometimes my instincts are dead, flipping, wrong.

- A lot of times they are dead, flipping, right.

- Exercise is critical.

I kept thinking that this was, by far, the hardest year of my life.  So many hurdles were either tossed in my way or self-inflicted, but at some point I realized that by deciding to leave the cozy nest of my last job, I asked for it.  Everything I’ve gotten I’ve asked for and has been a direct consequence of that fateful day nearly two years ago.  It’s made me a better manager, it’s made me more creative, and a more conscientious team mate.

I don’t want to be labeled a buzzkill, but I find articles, blogs, tweets and FB updates a little too rosey-colored about what’s involved when working on your own.  No one wants to admit the panic, sleepless nights or nerves that will be tested when you try operating without a net.  I’ve heard “fake it till you make it” too many times, and frankly think its bubkis.  A little reality makes us all play better and work harder.  And, I suppose the good news is, I’ll never wonder what if.

Still catching up, didn’t want you to forget.