The 30 Something Split

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

I hate to give Keruoac credit but its a good quote.  After recent interactions with a few folks, I’ve gathered together a “few” somewhat harried thoughts and decided they would make a decent first post of the New Year.   People have left or lost jobs, relationships, launched businesses, moved, had kids, decided not to have kids, started school, handled rejection, went on meds, got on match.com, have cancer, opened a gallery, lost weight, passed the bar, left their marriage, lost friends tragically, began writing, quit writing, been on TV, finally put the bong down, became famous, cut records, quit bands, and gotten out of jail, or war,  or rehab.

2009 was an incredible year, so for my first post of the New Year, I offer a few pearls I’ve earned and a few I’ve cast.

First, breathe. You are doing really great, none of this was made in a day, so it won’t change in one either. The important thing is that you’ve decided to make a change which is what makes us human, our ability to think and adapt (if yure not doing it, you are a moronic mouthbreather, no matter what your income).

You are a really smart, very bright and insightful person, being this in the world is hard, especially when paired with your hotness.  In like high school and college, you end up getting forced to choose between aspects of yourself then eventually things change, life happens and those other parts of yourself begin to surface, which causes a schism.

Some people just blow life off, they keep being their “old self” and let the world adapt to them, rather than in reverse.  I call these people knuckle draggers.  They say “meh” a lot.

So there are these two parts of yourself, or many parts, life is about threading them together not picking just one. Things like counseling groups, religion, meet ups, kickball teams, gym memberships, the military are actually helpful in providing discipline and structure, but be careful, because you cant hide there either.

The Beast (i.e. the Party Animal, the Sabateur, the Con Artist whatever) is pretty serious.  It lives in the back of your head.  While it might have been possible to balance time with the beast with your other responsibilities (college, work, girlfriends), the beast can cause a fair amount of trouble.  Mine’s quite a trickster, lemme tell you. 

Women can smell a beast. Same goes for men, women with lousy “pets” suck too.

– If a job is a means to an end, its not necc a bad thing. Lots of people arent “inspired” by their jobs, but their ability to make the money that comes with them affords them an inspired life.  Heck I’m jealous of you and everyone else who can add.  Life’s harder when when you cant add.

– Hate her all you want, but I’m with Snookie, sometimes its necessary to throw your own boardwalk rave.

-Keep writing, stop thinking about who’s reading it, and don’t go shooting with unregistered weapons. Especially in Nebraska.

– Its not about any particular relationship, its about YOU.  There are a few versions of you out there, and its now your job to put them together.  Chicks get confused when there are like six versions of you.  You cant blame us, but you could lay off with the whole women are crazy thing. Men are just as nuts.

“Get Naked” All of the “clothes” / selves we put on through our 20s end up having to come off.  Its time to strip down, and get nekkid.  It happens like every ten years. You dont want to be some stale version of your college self do you? People build whole lives around their college self.  Dont be Uncle Rico.

– For talented assh*les like you, who are naturally talented, maybe this is the first time in your life you have had to work really hard at something.  Whether its getting a date, a promotion, a job you really like, parenthood, whatever…its not just coming to you like it used to, and in that case, go f*ck yourself, because natural overachievers really piss me off.  I killed myself for every C- I ever got so welcome to my world.

– Indulge your interests and if you dont know what they are, thats a problem.  I’ve never really appreciated what this meant until I was broke and couldn’t afford to do anything but my own hobbies.  Hell, Jason Segel is into puppets and now look at him. Okay, maybe thats not the best example.  Although, I am into puppets so if you meet him, give him my number.  God he’s hot.

– You don’t have to have it all worked out before you can be in a relationship, but you cant use your relationships to work things out.

Enjoy the upgrade.

And If you are wondering where I pick this shit up, Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung, The Stages of Change and lots of Star Wars.

May The Force Be With You.

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